The power of love

Why is it that saying "I love you" is so dangerous?

Is it too much of a commitment that saying those three words drives people away? I love so many things and so many people, why can't I tell them? I mean, I can. But generally people would probably overreact due to the power that those words hold in society.

I think saying "I love you" is not something someone should be scared of. Why is love something so protected and avoided?

I love you 

All of you

Even those who dislike me

And those who don't actually read this

I love you.

Why does saying it to someone have to be so difficult and something so socially constructed as difficult? 

It All Makes Sense!

The more a more I look and think about The Great Gatsby the more it makes sense. I'm not really sure why. It may be the concept of hope and love. I never felt as though I knew anything about love until now. Now that I've actually experienced it with someone other than my family. I've learned about loss and about holding on to an extraordinary sense of hope.
In the end it is all about letting go and moving on. You can't repeat the past, but you can look upon it. You can only create a future.

My Old Roommate

Dear Friends and Followers,

I don't know if anyone is actually reading what I write on here or not. Nevertheless, I'm still going to write.
My Old Roommate, I guess we can call her Michelle for the sake of remaining anonymous. I didn't understand her at all. For some reason she seemed to have some sort of prejudice against me from the start. I'm not really sure why, because all I did was be nice to her. I guess she started to question my judgement of things when I started hanging around Adam, who is more of a geek than a jock. Michelle in her feminist mind thought that I could do better. She was eventually right, but I'll get to that another time if I feel like it. I made the decision that my beliefs were stronger than those of a person that I just met a few weeks earlier. So I decided to go on my own path. I guess that's when things started to get distanced between us.
At first I thought that we had a lot in common due to the way we acted and how we thought. But we were probably too similar for our own good. That's the thing, for some reason you don't get along with people who are too similar to yourself because you have too much in common and you already know what the other person is going to say because you would say that yourself.
Yet she was so absorbed in her image and how others thought of her that I didn't feel as though she truly understood who she was. She stood in front of the mirror at least 10 times before she left the room, even if it was just to go to the bathroom or get a drink of water. She was so concerned with how she appeared to others that she would ask either me or our other roommate, Kendra (mainly Kendra), if something she said or how she looked was fine and acceptable for how she wanted others to see her as.

Her image of herself consisted of someone who was always put together, consistently on top of everything, and always striving to be the nest in everything that she does.

I don't believe that there is one person who can fit that complete description. I believe that Michelle was probably truly the complete opposite of who she really was. I never felt as though I saw the true side of her, even though I lived with her for a full school year. You can't live through life pretending to be someone you are not. And yet you change depending on who you are with. I guess that different versions of yourself can exist, but they are all true to yourself. I wish people were confident in who they are, flaws and everything. I try my best to be myself. But my mind always stops me from speaking what I feel and what I think. 

At the beginning of the year she had a long set of pre-determined rules for our room that she had already decided upon probably before she even arrived here. Most of them were completely different to how I viewed college as. 

One of her first things was that roommates weren't obligated to be friends and that we could basically decide that on our own time. We weren't going to be friends. We were adults now so we shouldn't have to depend upon each other. I felt as though that was a stab at me because I had woken up them at least once in the previous week because we were thinking of doing something as part of orientation. I was only being polite. Both my roommates were against the idea of having a stranger, a friend of our roommates', sleep in their bed if they were gone. That's when I definitely knew that we were not going to get along. It showed me that they didn't trust anyone, not even their roommates. I don't understand why people can't trust others. What does that show about humanity? Will we live in a state of paranoia our entire lives?

Out of all of these rules that Michelle had, one of her most ridiculous was that private phone calls or skype sessions or whatever would be done in the hallway if someone in the room was studying. Now that seemed reasonable to me. It really made sense. Giving others the chance to study in peace without having to hear someone else talk while they were trying to concentrate. One of the first times I skyped with my friends back home I was out in the hallway like our roommate agreement and rules stated. However, that seemed to be a problem for Michelle. Apparently I was making to much noise for her to concentrate. She then proceeded to come out into the hall with a post-it note that said something to the extent of:

"I'm sorry, but I can hear you through the wall which is making it difficult to concentrate on studying. If you could keep it down, that would be great! Or you could go down to the social lounge. Thanks! :)" 

I ended up going down to the social lounge, Adam was there, and everything seemed perfectly fine. The irony of the rule that she made was the fact that she was the one who talked the most on the phone. Throughout the year she was constantly running out into the hallway because her phone would be going off. And she didn't have to because probably half of the time Kendra and I were watching something on our computers and not even thinking about homework or studying. It's strange how she made everything more difficult for herself. She probably didn't want to portray a bad view of herself to us.
I feel bad for her. I don't know how she does it, how she can live with that constant worry and seem to be completely fine. You can never judge a book by it's cover.
I wish her the best and hope she learns. Not just in knowledge, but also wisdom.

Wallflower

I'm starting to believe that I am a wallflower.

I hadn't heard of the term until The Perks of Being a Wallflower and I only really recognize that term with the book and movie. (I hate the fact that I saw the movie before the book. It's one of the things that I criticize about people. Then again, I did the same thing with Les Miserables. Don't forget, I can be a hypocrite sometimes). I don't really talk a lot and I don't really like participating. Most of the time throughout high school I was alone, except for my friends. I'm alone now sitting in my room content with the way things are. I guess I like it that way. 

It's a pretty flower, isn't it?

 I didn't realize it was an actual flower that clings to walls, but I guess that makes sense. 

The thing that has most resonated with me though is the quote said about Wallflowers in the book, 

I feel the most connected to this. I always seem to understand people, even when they don't understand themselves. Even though I don't even understand myself. I guess it's hard for someone to understand a Wallflower, considering the keep quiet. 

I've never really told any of my friends about things that I have started to write here. And yet I'm trusting in a complete stranger. Kind of like Charlie. 

I guess even though it is difficult to understand the things men do, it is easiest when approached from the outside. 

I seem to notice everything. And I never tell anyone. 

Then again, I've never really seen anything too important or crucial to really tell. 

But I do have a lot to say, which most people don't seem to notice.

So here is where I am going to write what I have to say. 

Experiences outside of the computer

To those who wish to read this, 

Looking around at the people I know, and me myself, I wish that we would go outside more often. It's as if the internet and security of our homes has brought us into a life that is indoors.

I say that technology has ruined us, and has taken me along with it. (obviously because I now started a blog that I've been working on all day). 

Biologically, humans are not meant to sit inside at a computer all day. Why is it then that we do it? Why does the internet have to be so captivating? 

I don't want to live my life around a computer. To me, that's not living. 

The friends I made my first year of college would every weekend sit around the tv and look at their computers. It was probably fun for a few weeks. But eventually I realized that we weren't having an experience at all. We didn't even know what was going on outside of our college life. Our life of sitting inside a dorm and doing basically nothing. I missed intellectual conversations I used to have with my friends at home. I felt as though I hadn't learned anything about myself or anyone other than the fact that they liked sitting around the computer and tv all day.

Do all people do this? What has happened to society? (Then again I can't really say much because I have been raised into this developing technological world). 

The majority of them had smart phones, whenever we were at dinner they would just go to their phones if nothing was being said. I don't even own a smartphone, and yet it is now a common assumption that everyone has one. I have to say, my life is definitely better without one. 

It wasn't until my last weekend of my first year of college that I realized what a waste that my "friends" were putting into their college experience. My college is absolutely beautiful. There are numerous outdoor recreational activities to do, I had done none and my "friends" weren't even interested in seriously committing to an outdoor activity. They would have rather criticized the world from the security of their dorm than go out and see the world. My current roommate, who is also in this group of friends, and I were the only ones to really seem to understand this. We went on a walk to go see a movie one night and as we were walking back to campus we realized that we didn't want to walk back up to our room and just sit there. It was too beautiful of a night to do that. So, my friend (being well educated in the constellations of the sky) suggested that we should just go lie somewhere and stargaze. 

And so we went. 

It was beautiful. Where I am now, the city lights would cast a haze over the beautiful night sky. It was only there that I was able to see its beauty. (Not that I haven't seen it before, because I have, it's just that I hadn't seen the beauty of the night sky in a long time). The farther that we went from the lights of campus, the closer we got to seeing the wonders of the night sky. My friend pointed out the constellations that we could visibly see. We talked about our up coming finals, how frustrating some of our professors are, and how we wish we could just stay where we were and be at peace. But that's the thing. You can't just hide forever with your head in the clouds and your heart among the stars. Yet you can. Only for a moment. But it was that moment, where time didn't matter and all stress went away, that you really find something about yourself. I can assure you that is something that you will not experience from a computer or a movie. You won't learn anything, or have any stories to tell unless you step outside and live. 

That night we vowed to go outside and do something different every Friday. To get away from the stress and live. 

I'm sure we'll keep that promise. 

Time is to Clock as Mind is to Brain

The quote, "Time is to clock as mind is to brain" is found in chapter 4 of Dava Sobel's Longitude. I had to read this during a college course, and even though generally everyone found the book to be dull or boring, I found it interesting. Again, adding to my reasons of why I don't understand people. I guess it's just because this book made me think about the impact of the clock and longitude on today's society.

The previous year I remember having a discussion about how our lives are ruled by a clock. We go places depending upon the time that the clock on the wall or on our wrist or on our phone. I always end up looking at my phone to see the time, even when I don't need to. It's strange to think how the phone has replaced the watch. I even know friends who look at their phone for the time even though they are wearing a watch. It's absolutely crazy. And it's something that we do intuitively. Why? Are we really independent of time? It consistently rules our life. 

But what is interesting about this quote and this book is that it made me realize that time is not constant. It is continuously changing. Ever hear of "Time flies by when you are having fun"? To different people, time can speed up or slow down. Ever been in a meeting or a class that seems like it has gone on for an hour, but when you look up at the clock it has only been two minuets? It's because time is continuously warped and changed. If this invisible entity is continuously changing, then how is it captured within a physical object? How is it that our mind is trapped by our brain? It is the invisible versus the physical. Everyone's mind is different, but everyone's brain is the same (or at least close to the same, excluding brain deficiencies, etc.). Similarly, time is different between people, but the clock is the same (or at least as similar as each clock can get). It's just interesting to think about. 

A Little Quote

"We must never fear robbers or murderers. They are dangers from outside, small dangers. It is ourselves we have to fear. Prejudice is the real robber, and vice the real murderer. Why should we e troubled by a threat to our person or our pocket? What we have to beware of is the threat to our souls."

-Victor Hugo, Les Miserables (Monseigneur Myriel)

My First Post

Hello!
I'm Amelia Brooks. I'm new to blogging so please ignore the ignorant mistakes and mishaps that I make. There are numerous things that I have always wanted to share. Many ideas and many tricks that I use everyday.
I'm interested in political science and history, so sorry if you don't like either, because there will definitely be some history geeky-ness and political ideas. I hope to respect everyone's ideas in expressing my ideas on here.
I'm not an open person if you were to meet me on the street. In fact, you'd probably pass right by me. I guess that is what blogs are for. They give those people like me a chance to raise their hand, stand up, and speak their minds. At least that is what I hope to achieve.
Also, you'll have to excuse my craft and diy obsessions. I love making something new out of something old. I guess that makes sense because I like studying something old and applying it to the present. So, there will definitely be some crafts and inspirations that I show that I hope will be helpful to some.
I don't know if anyone will look at this. My blog may just be one that you pass, like you would on the street. But to those who stop and take in the sights around you, thank you for looking and I hope you enjoy!