What my "friends" did to us at dinner

So me and my roommate, Elaine, were planning on going to dinner and thought that maybe some of our friends from last year would like to see us again. I've been tired from being cooped up for so long that I thought it would be nice to see them again (even though they aren't my favorite people in the world, but they certainly aren't the worst). Until maybe now.

Elaine texted one of them to see if they wanted to go to dinner, and she replied that she already had plans. Which, I mean is understandable and all.

Well, we then decided to go to dinner a little later. And guess who we see? All of our "friends" sitting together. I know they saw me, and they know that I saw them. And they did nothing. I still haven't heard from them.
That really makes me think that they had something against me as well. I knew they didn't like Elaine, but all of the things that they say about her are totally wrong from how I see her.

I really wished that I would have gone up to their table and confronted them.
It really would have felt great.
I'm so upset at them.
I kept telling myself that I was going to make new friends this year, and they are certainly making it easy.

Back at College

Well, I'm finally back at college and it's not exactly going how I thought it would be. It seems as though my "friends" that I had last year have abandoned me because they don't like my roommate, who was also one of their friends. I actually haven't been able to meet anyone new recently who has been a great friend to me other than my roommate. But now it's been the second day of just sitting around in my room doing nothing.
I told myself that this year was going to be different, that it would be more exciting, and that I'd meet new people and actually hang out and have fun.
So far, none of that has happened.
It sucks.
I know absolutely no one on my floor and haven't had anything to go to. It's so boring.
On the upside, I got callbacks for band auditions.
But that seems to be the only thing that's truly exciting.
It's really discouraging.

I like to be missed sometimes...

I just came back from a trip with some of my friends. I thought that at least maybe somebody would have something to say to me or some reason to contact me over that past four days, but nope.

No one tried to get, call, or message me in any way. My family didn't even try to get in touch with me. I thought maybe even Charles would, but he did unfortunately did not (even though I missed him a bunch). The only messages I had on facebook were from my sister who had hacked onto my account and posted that she was the best sister ever on it.
I was actually happy to come back and see that people had looked at my blog. And it seemed to be more people than usual, which made me pretty happy.
Which that is actually kind of sad.
I've come to the point where I need technology to prove my worth and how much people need or feel for me.
It's really sad once you think about it.

Co-ed dorms for the better?

I went on a camping trip this past weekend with a few of my close friends who go to different schools. One of my good friends, Carly, lived in a dorm last year that had co-ed floors and wings and is going to be an RA next year. And I'm the total opposite. Our dorms were separated by floors and wings. The floor I lived on was especially more secluded than the others because there was no connection between the two wings, whereas the other floors below us did connect. This made our group of about 25 girls especially more separated from everyone else.

Any way, we started talking about our college experiences, mainly our living situations and learned that being in a co-ed living space (having guys living on the same floor as girls) seemed to have less drama than and floor only having girls living on it or only exclusively guys.

There was A LOT of drama between girls on my floor last year (something I really hope doesn't happen again). It wasn't any face-to-face confrontation, it was just a lot of things unsaid that created a bias and prejudice against a group of people that is not like yourself.
I basically got wrapped up into one group because of the fact that I'm more of a geek than a preppy outgoing guy-drama filled lifestyle.

I generally try to never cling onto a type of clique or anything of that sort. I'd rather remain unbiased and accept everyone for who they are. 

But unfortunately I was stuck on a floor that had people who were less accepting of the other. I barely even said anything and yet I felt as though I was viewed as being someone I wasn't.

SO ANNOYING!!!

And then I heard about Carly's experience. And it's what I would have rather had.

There seemed to be no drama and clique-like behavior from the people she lived with, even though there were some distinction between geeks and jocks. But they all got along. No one thought that they had to live up to some expectation of what society or others felt they had to. They were just themselves. 

And that's when I started to really think that separating men and women creates even more drama than keeping them together. You'd think it'd be the opposite, but it's not!!!!

Maybe men and women are natural balancers and help tone down the drama that exists in exclusively one gender. 

Having that co-ed living situation seemed to bring about enough diversity between peoples that no more than two people were alike. And that seemed really nice. 

Well, here's hope to a better new year! (even though I still have to wait like a month)

What I love and What I like

Sometimes it seems as though no one I know really likes and cares about the same things I do.

-I get excited over the Tour de France (I'm from the United States where people would rather watch Football and untalented celebrities). - Biking is Freaking AWESOME!!!

And today was the last stage of the 100th Tour! How is that not COOL!?!?!

Congrats to Chris Froome!

When I start naming off professional cyclists, I get looks that suggest that I'm crazy. 

Andy Schleck will always be my favorite though

-I LOVE VIKINGS!!!! - Ok I'm a history nut and kind of obsessed with George Blagden, and not too many people I know really know about him (and his Awesomeness!!)

The other day there was a promo released for Season 2 (Which was Amazing!) and no one I know probably didn't even notice (even though I posted it on Facebook).

I'm totally obsessed and it feels as though no one I know knows anything about it!

I mean, come on! How is it that no one else I know is not obsessed with that!

-I love to crochet! I know that's kind of weird, and I know people do it. But not a lot of college girls I know would spend their friday nights crocheting

I'm fine with being different and unique, that's what makes me who I am!

But some understanding sometimes and similar interests between some people I know would be great as well. 

Act like a Child

While working today I realized something that I find important, especially when you grow up. Especially when the fun seems to be sucked out of everything and you need to be responsible. (Don't get me wrong though, being responsible is important). However, sometimes it's best to just forget about everything and have a little fun.

While working my lovely part-time job at a lovely establishment that I wish I spent less time at, I decided to play with some soap. Just kind of splashing around in it with my hands. I just could not resist the wonderful foam that covered the water. It was wonderful! And I didn't have to worry or think about the fact that I was working or that I had greater responsibilities. I could just have fun. It was great!

It was then that I realized that I had been doing similar childish things the past few days. 

Two days ago, I went and played on a playground. It was probably the most fun that I had all week. I got to swing! When was the last time you went on a swing because you wanted to? It was so incredibly fun! 

Yesterday I went to the zoo with my friends. We were probably the oldest people there who were not adults supervising children. But it was so much fun! 

Children have it best. 

There is nothing that they have to worry about in the world, they can just have fun. 

I like that mentality

Of just having fun. 

And I'm going to just keep having fun, even if it is childish.

This also reminds me of a post that I did not too long ago titled The Little Things

Wallflower

I'm starting to believe that I am a wallflower.

I hadn't heard of the term until The Perks of Being a Wallflower and I only really recognize that term with the book and movie. (I hate the fact that I saw the movie before the book. It's one of the things that I criticize about people. Then again, I did the same thing with Les Miserables. Don't forget, I can be a hypocrite sometimes). I don't really talk a lot and I don't really like participating. Most of the time throughout high school I was alone, except for my friends. I'm alone now sitting in my room content with the way things are. I guess I like it that way. 

It's a pretty flower, isn't it?

 I didn't realize it was an actual flower that clings to walls, but I guess that makes sense. 

The thing that has most resonated with me though is the quote said about Wallflowers in the book, 

I feel the most connected to this. I always seem to understand people, even when they don't understand themselves. Even though I don't even understand myself. I guess it's hard for someone to understand a Wallflower, considering the keep quiet. 

I've never really told any of my friends about things that I have started to write here. And yet I'm trusting in a complete stranger. Kind of like Charlie. 

I guess even though it is difficult to understand the things men do, it is easiest when approached from the outside. 

I seem to notice everything. And I never tell anyone. 

Then again, I've never really seen anything too important or crucial to really tell. 

But I do have a lot to say, which most people don't seem to notice.

So here is where I am going to write what I have to say. 

Experiences outside of the computer

To those who wish to read this, 

Looking around at the people I know, and me myself, I wish that we would go outside more often. It's as if the internet and security of our homes has brought us into a life that is indoors.

I say that technology has ruined us, and has taken me along with it. (obviously because I now started a blog that I've been working on all day). 

Biologically, humans are not meant to sit inside at a computer all day. Why is it then that we do it? Why does the internet have to be so captivating? 

I don't want to live my life around a computer. To me, that's not living. 

The friends I made my first year of college would every weekend sit around the tv and look at their computers. It was probably fun for a few weeks. But eventually I realized that we weren't having an experience at all. We didn't even know what was going on outside of our college life. Our life of sitting inside a dorm and doing basically nothing. I missed intellectual conversations I used to have with my friends at home. I felt as though I hadn't learned anything about myself or anyone other than the fact that they liked sitting around the computer and tv all day.

Do all people do this? What has happened to society? (Then again I can't really say much because I have been raised into this developing technological world). 

The majority of them had smart phones, whenever we were at dinner they would just go to their phones if nothing was being said. I don't even own a smartphone, and yet it is now a common assumption that everyone has one. I have to say, my life is definitely better without one. 

It wasn't until my last weekend of my first year of college that I realized what a waste that my "friends" were putting into their college experience. My college is absolutely beautiful. There are numerous outdoor recreational activities to do, I had done none and my "friends" weren't even interested in seriously committing to an outdoor activity. They would have rather criticized the world from the security of their dorm than go out and see the world. My current roommate, who is also in this group of friends, and I were the only ones to really seem to understand this. We went on a walk to go see a movie one night and as we were walking back to campus we realized that we didn't want to walk back up to our room and just sit there. It was too beautiful of a night to do that. So, my friend (being well educated in the constellations of the sky) suggested that we should just go lie somewhere and stargaze. 

And so we went. 

It was beautiful. Where I am now, the city lights would cast a haze over the beautiful night sky. It was only there that I was able to see its beauty. (Not that I haven't seen it before, because I have, it's just that I hadn't seen the beauty of the night sky in a long time). The farther that we went from the lights of campus, the closer we got to seeing the wonders of the night sky. My friend pointed out the constellations that we could visibly see. We talked about our up coming finals, how frustrating some of our professors are, and how we wish we could just stay where we were and be at peace. But that's the thing. You can't just hide forever with your head in the clouds and your heart among the stars. Yet you can. Only for a moment. But it was that moment, where time didn't matter and all stress went away, that you really find something about yourself. I can assure you that is something that you will not experience from a computer or a movie. You won't learn anything, or have any stories to tell unless you step outside and live. 

That night we vowed to go outside and do something different every Friday. To get away from the stress and live. 

I'm sure we'll keep that promise.